Lights All Aglow
by staceleo
Summary: Christmas for the Cullen family is an adventure. That would be a huge adventure of hijinks and mini disasters. A humorous tale of love, family, and a really big tree during the holidays. Entry for The Holly Jolly Holiday Contest. o/s


**AN: This was my entry for the Holly Jolly Holiday Contest. I hope you like it!  
Thank you to SunflowerFran3759, mauigirl60, Karenec, RMFM86!  
**

It was a blustery morning, as the Cullen family went deep into the grounds of the Christmas tree farm to find the perfect tree.

"It's so cold, Mommy," Grace whined.

"We are almost there, baby! Mommy can feel it!" Bella cuddled little Matt in her arms. He was shivering, even in his fleece monkey hat. "You both get a hot chocolate when we get back to the farm stand."

"Bella, sweetheart, maybe we should make the kids some when we get home? It didn't look very clean in there."

The look that Edward's wife shot him made his balls retreat quickly into his body.

Their feet trudged along the snowy ground. The view around them was lovely. In the trees, all covered in fluffy white, sweet winter birds were tweeting a happy tune at the family. The family, however, was the opposite of happy.

"What about this one?" Edward asked, pointing at a pleasant-looking blue spruce.

"The needles will drop quickly on that one," Bella observed. "And you, of all people, should want one that doesn't make a mess."

Edward began to disagree, but then realized Bella was entirely right. His ordered life had dissolved into a mess of crayon-colored furniture and dirty floors. He was constantly on the cusp of an OCD panic attack.

Grace pointed to her toes. "My feet feel funny."

"Oh, shoot!" Bella felt awful. She wanted the perfect tree, not to give her children frostbite.

The problem with Bella was that she was trying to create the perfect Christmas. She was raised by two Scrooges of epic proportions. When Bella lived with Renee, it was always an avoidance of the conventional. Christmas trees were never allowed, but Renee had lit all her tantric candles. One memorable year in particular, she'd invited her latest boy toy over for stinky curry. Young Bella was scarred that unhappy Christmas of 1989. When she'd moved in with Charlie, they had just a tiny, fake tree and turkey TV dinners. She just wanted more for her kids.

"Okay, everybody..." Bella was about to pick anything, when she saw it. It was nirvana in the form of a tree.

Bella spotted a perfectly-shaped Balsam Fir. Little Matt giggled at the way his body bounced, as his mommy jogged through the snow toward it.

"Edward, honey... it's... it's... perfect!"

Edward looked at the massive tree before them and gasped, "Bella, that thing won't fit in the house!"

"We can so make this work!" Bella was so giddy that she was twitching. Grace looked at her as if she were crazy. "Where's the tag to put on it?"

Edward looked in his pocket, but there was nothing. "Honey, I forgot it! We'll just go back..."

"Oh, no, Edward, somebody will steal our perfect tree! Are you insane? The children and I will be sending the man with the chainsaw to you. Your job is to protect the tree."

She stomped away with the two little children in tow. Grace asked happily, "Is it time for hot chocolate?"

Edward looked at his family sadly. Standing in the cold, cold snow, he really wanted some dirty farm stand hot chocolate, too.

Two hours later, a still frozen Edward was standing in the front yard with a chain saw. Just as he had said, the tree wouldn't fit in the front door.

Emmett walked over, munching on a chicken leg. "Damn, that fucker is huge. Has Bella lost her mind?"

"Yes," Edward simply agreed. Anyone who would ever think something this big would be an appropriate Christmas tree must have gone nuts.

Emmett, always finding the bright side, tried to cheer his brother up. "At least you'll have plenty of firewood!"

"Maybe I should learn how to whittle?" Edward smirked.

"That's it, dude! The glass is always half-full!"

It was half-full until there was a tittering in the tree. Something was crawling around in there. All of a sudden, a squirrel flew out of the branches and landed on Edward's head, tangling itself in his crazy locks. It appeared to be trying to get to Emmett's chicken leg.

The screeching that emanated from this large rodent was one that would frequent poor Edward's nightmares, and traumatize Emmett for years to come.

Bella ran from the kitchen and into the backyard when she heard the screaming. She had been making snowman collages with the children using cotton balls. Her fingers still had the soft fuzz stuck to them. Her apron was covered in glue. "What is happen- oh, my God!"

Emmett squeaked in a surprisingly high voice, "I think it might be possessed or rabid!"

Edward screamed again.

Reaching into the pocket of her apron, Bella pulled out a handful of assorted nuts and threw them into the air. Walnuts, peanuts and a couple of pecans landed on the snowy ground. The hellish, fluffy-tailed beast let out another monstrous squeal and launched itself off Edward, taking strands of his red hair with it.

Edward propelled himself onto his wife sobbing, "I thought it was going to eat my brain!"

"Oh, baby, it's going to be okay! You are so brave!" Bella kissed the top of his poor head.

Emmett stomped over and stuck his big hand into Bella's apron pocket, pulling out a peanut. "You have more!"

"Hey! That's mine!" Bella complained.

"Why do you have nuts in your apron?" he asked. Emmett was a fan of nuts.

Bella shrugged, still rubbing the side of Edward's head. "They make a great snack."

"You are a goddess, Bella Cullen."

Edward sneered at his brother fawning over his wife.

Bella kissed the frown off his face. "Take Emmett inside with you. There are mugs of hot chocolate on the counter."

"What about the tree?" Edward asked.

Bella let go of him and grabbed the chainsaw. Starting the motor, Bella smiled at the men. "Momma's got this one!"

XXXXXX

The next day, the family decorated the tree. Somehow, Bella had made that tree fit into the house perfectly. Exactly how she managed to do that was something that Edward couldn't figure out.

Bella did most of the decorating, starting with the tree's inner glow. She wrapped the trunk with the lights and worked her way out. It took forever, but it was lovely to behold. Edward wasn't impressed, however, with the pine needle prickles that marred his wife's skin. He wanted to kiss and soothe every single one.

The children helped hang the non-breakable ornaments on the branches. They were a hodge-podge of things that Edward had made when he was young, and some newer ones that Grace and Matt had made with Bella. It saddened him that Bella had none of her own from her childhood. It made him furious with Charlie and that no-good Renee. When she had gotten older, Bella had started collecting the fancier and breakable ornaments. They seemed to make her happy, but Edward was always one to notice when she looked wistfully at the reindeer that were made from clothespins.

It was surprising that, as a Christmas perfectionist, Bella wasn't inclined to make the tree appear to look as if it were from a magazine. Instead, it looked like a mash-up of beloved items and fun ornaments that glittered in the white lights. It looked like family.

Bella was busy taking pictures of the decorating endeavor, when Edward wrapped his arms around her waist. He whispered in her ear, "Beautiful."

"Honey, if you keep jostling me, the pictures will be blurry." She turned to him and smiled. "The tree does look pretty. I might be moving some of Matt's additions. Two-year-olds like to bunch things together."

"I was talking about _you_, Mrs. Cullen. You are the loveliest thing in this room."

Bella placed the camera on a nearby table and wrapped her arms around her husband. They kissed softly as Bing crooned _White Christmas_ in the background.

"Mommy, Daddy is going to give you a cold!" Grace exclaimed.

Matt started to punch Edward in the leg. "Me, Mommy! Me, Mommy!"

Christmas was family.

XXXXXX

Edward Cullen was frustrated. He was frustrated in that sexual way that could only be solved by getting some loving from his wife. It was like this every December. He would come home from a long day at the office, after checking out all the town's children for tummy aches from over-consumption of candy canes. He would be ready to get some relief of the Bella variety, but Bella would be busy running around baking, wrapping, or creating elaborate manger scenes made from gingerbread. Then, poor Edward would pass out on the couch in front of some bad Hallmark Channel Christmas movie, starring TV actors from years ago. It just wasn't fair.

Trudging into the house with his head down, Edward tried to remember if tonight's holiday movie was about Christmas being saved by a woman Santa, or if Christmas orphans would find a new home. Either way, it was a depressing way to spend the evening. He craved some action of the Bella type.

Slowly he removed his coat and waited to be attacked by small children, but none appeared. This made him extremely nervous. He called out, "Bella?"

Walking toward the dining room, the most wonderful smell filled his nostrils. It was Bella's famous, herbed roast beef. Edward had thought he walked into heaven, which was confirmed when he entered the kitchen and spied his wife. Standing in front of the kitchen counter, wearing the little, black dress that made him weak in the knees, she was scooping roasted vegetables into a serving dish.

"What do we have here?" he asked with a smile, leaning in the doorway and taking in the view.

"I am finishing our dinner, Dr. Cullen."

He smiled. "And where are our adorable rugrats?"

"I shipped them off to your parents. Your mother has wanted a sleepover with them, and it seemed like a good night to do it." Bella sauntered over to the fridge and pulled out a beer. She opened it and walked slowly over to Edward. "For you."

"Are we having guests tonight? Did I forget something?" Edward asked. He knew that Bella still had a massive list of things she wanted to finish.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Bella twisted her fingers into his hair. "The only important guest is you. I know I get crazy around this time of year, but you have been wonderful putting up with me."

"Sweetheart, I love you and your enthusiasm." Edward held her tightly, moving their bodies out of the kitchen and into the living room, until they were in front of the Christmas tree. "Is the oven off?"

Bella gave a grin and said, "Yes. I was just keeping things warm."

"There's something here I want to get warm," Edward crooned, slowly moving the straps of Bella's dress down her arm, and placing a kiss onto her shoulder.

Bella removed Edward's tie and dropped it onto the floor. She unbuttoned his shirt slowly, taking in the way the firelight cast his skin in a golden glow. She murmured into his chest, "I think I can help you with that," as she placed light kisses on his skin.

Pulling down the other strap of Bella's dress, Edward slowly revealed his completely naked wife. His mouth went to hers urgently, as his hands rubbed down her sides. He grabbed her ass and caressed it, making Bella gasp.

Bella struggled with Edward's belt buckle, desperately trying to get him undressed. She had also needed some stress relief for days now, in the form of her husband's body.

Edward stilled her hands. "We can take it slow, darling."

"I need you..." she began.

Edward laughed and said, "And you also need to finish the Christmas cards."

"Well, yes, but I really need your mouth, hands, and dick in and on me." She was overjoyed by the way Edward's eyes darkened, as he took her in. Making him absolutely crazy was her favorite pastime.

Edward growled, tossing his wife onto the couch and hurriedly tearing off the rest of his clothes. Edward Cullen was just as beautiful now as the day that Bella had met him. She whispered reverently, "My God, you are the most handsome thing I've ever seen."

"You are the loveliest." Edward's mouth closed over her nipple, as his hands moved between her legs. Two fingers pushed into her, while the other hand rubbed her clit expertly. His digits pulsed in and out, making Bella's head dizzy in the buildup. She raked her nails down his back, leaving an angry, red mark. Edward didn't mind one bit as he moved his mouth to her neck, nipping it aggressively.

"Fuck me, that's good," Bella screamed at the sensation of his teeth. Her hand went between them to grab his dick and rub it. "Edward, baby, make me come!"

"Damn, woman, not without me..." His fingers exited her body and she let out an unhappy whimper which was quickly replaced by a gasp, as he plunged his cock into her. She was so wet that it was easy to glide into her body. It felt like heaven. "I want you so much."

The couple clung to each other as Edward pushed hard into his beloved wife. Bella, who was now sweaty beneath him, rubbed her clit as Edward moved inside her, kissing her passionately. It didn't take long for the duo to climax, hugging each other tightly as they whispered words of love.

Thirty minutes later, the still-naked couple sat on the couch wrapped in a blanket, feeding each other dinner. The elaborately-set dining room table was completely forgotten. Between sips of wine and bites of beef, Bella addressed Christmas cards and snuggled into Edward.

"Just think, no one but us knows what was going on when you got those ready." Edward rubbed Bella's neck, placing a kiss on the bite mark he left earlier.

"Bad boy," Bella purred. "I bet Emmett will know. He has the weirdest ESP for that kind of thing."

"True," Edward murmured into her hair. He picked up his head and spied one of the cards. "Can I see that?"

Bella nodded and handed him a photo card printed with a picture of their family. Instead of a sterile pose of their family looking like perfect statues, it was a candid picture that his sister, Alice, had taken of the group, making faces at each other.

"It's perfect," Edward said in awe. He looked at his beautiful wife, who was gazing at the fire with a peaceful expression on her face. "Like you."

XXXXXX

It was December 25th, and Bella was naked and curled up in Edward's equally unclothed arms. It was her favorite position, and one that she didn't ordinarily find herself in when the children were at home. That luxury was reserved for nights when the children slept over with their grandparents. Usually lovemaking with Edward was quick, and clothing was set nearby to be used immediately after finishing. However, last night was an exception. Too much eggnog and holiday cheer had made their inhibitions looser and the couple more demonstrative of their passion, even with little ears nearby.

Bella snuggled into Edward's chest as he cupped her ass. He whispered, "Fancy one more time, before the monkeys clamor for gifts?"

"They'll be up any minute, Edward." Bella thought she should be the voice of reason even though she was extremely turned on.

"Come on, sweetheart!" Edward kissed her mouth gently. He pulled away to grind his hand into her clit. "We have some time."

Bella rubbed his chest and moved her mouth down toward his morning wood. Placing her mouth on him, she sucked happily. Her slurps and licks made Edward moan, before she put a hand over his mouth to quiet him. Before he had a chance to release, Bella quickly pulled off and climbed up, pushing herself down onto his erection. She wasn't crazy. The mommy porn she had bought lied—sperm tasted nasty.

Edward didn't care in the least, because Bella was rocking back and forth on him, and it felt like heaven. He clung tightly to her hips and was on the cusp of release when he heard…

"Mommy! Daddy! Santa has been here!" Grace screamed. "I'm coming to get you!"

It was a mad scramble to tug on pajamas. Edward was in considerable pain and Bella was cursing their hormones. They both tried to get to the door, but ended up falling on top of one another.

"Why are you playing Twister? Santa's been here!" Grace exclaimed. Didn't her silly parents know that this was no time for games? There were presents waiting to be opened!

Bella and Edward slowly walked down the stairs.

"I'll start the coffee," Bella said. They had only needed two more minutes.

"I'll make sure the kids hold back from the ritual tearing of the wrapping paper," Edward replied, walking uncomfortably due to his lack of release.

By the time Bella returned to the living room, paper was flying through the air like confetti, and poor Edward was pulling his hair out in frustration. The happy squeals filled the room, with an occasional gripe by Grace, "Why did Santa give me socks?"

Bella pulled Edward to the couch after placing coffee cups on the table. She positioned herself on his lap and started taking pictures of the bedlam. Edward was still tense, so she put the camera down and snuggled closer. "I have something for you."

"This is a perfect spot for you to be in for that Christmas lap dance I've always wanted!" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"There's a time and a place, husband."

Edward grinned. "They'll never notice, sweetheart! They're too busy destroying our living room!

Bella placed a box in Edward's hand. "This is for you."

Edward opened the box to reveal a platinum watch. It was amazingly simple, but classic in design.

"Turn it over," Bella said quietly.

It read, _My Love, My Life, My Always_.

"Bella, love, this is wonderful!" He kissed her mouth, savoring the taste of her. "I have something for you, too!"

With Bella still in his lap, Edward struggled to place a large box on the couch beside them. She opened it excitedly, but when she saw the contents, her mouth dropped. It was a new toaster oven.

"Isn't it great? I can make buffalo wings in it when I want a snack!" Edward said, grinning. Bella just looked at him.

"It's…umm…thanks." She watched the kids dump out their stockings. Mentally, she was finding the will to be grateful, because they really did need a new toaster oven.

"Baby," Edward said. Bella looked at him as he held a small box out to her. "I was teasing. This is for you."

Inside the gaily-wrapped red and gold box, there was a necklace. Little birthstone charms of each family member glittered in the light of the Christmas tree. Bella pulled Edward's head down and kissed him hard.

There was a possibility that the couple acting like amorous newlyweds were close to corrupting little eyes. Luckily for the children, the doorbell rang.

Bella, breathless from kissing, stood up, looking at Edward in confusion. "Who could be here this early? We aren't expecting guests until eleven."

When she opened the door, a stampede of various Cullens and Swans rushed in, their arms filled with festively-wrapped gifts. Bella stammered, "You…you…eleven…."

Esme Cullen gave her daughter-in-law a quick kiss on the forehead. "Oh, sweetheart, we couldn't miss out seeing the babies open their gifts."

"Where are the breakfast pastries hiding, Bells?" Emmett demanded, as the rush through the doorway continued.

Bella felt Edward's arms wrap around her, as Alice exclaimed, "Bella, your shirt is on backwards! Really Edward, are you wearing reindeer boxers?"

The children squealed in excitement at the additional gifts. Bella heard Grace scream in joy, "My own fishing pole! Thanks, Grandpa Charlie!"

Charlie Swan might not have been the best dad, but he was trying hard to make it up to his daughter by supporting her now, and being an amazing Grandpa. "It sure is, kiddo. Maybe we can talk your mom into coming with us."

Bella couldn't help but smile.

Emmett was stuffing his face happily with croissants, as Rosalie glowered at him. She sneered, "Save some for everybody else."

Alice and her husband, Jasper, cuddled on a love seat. Watching as his brother-in-law rubbed Alice's stomach, Edward became excited at the thought of an upcoming announcement.

Carlisle and Esme had little Matt between them while he babbled about choo-choos. The look of happiness was apparent on their faces. They were truly blessed to have such a wonderful family.

"I should probably make more coffee," Bella said, with a smile.

Edward grinned and gave her a wink. "I'll help."

Once they reached the kitchen, Edward closed the door.

"What is that for?" Bella asked.

Edward lifted her quickly and placed her on the counter. He parted her legs, so he could be closer to her. His hands on her hips, Edward started sucking and kissing her neck.

"Edward," she moaned. "Our house is full of family."

He looked up with a lustful glint in his eye. "We have ten minutes before they search for us."

"I love you, Mr. Cullen." She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I love you, Mrs. Cullen," Edward whispered, as he placed his hand between her legs and rubbed softly. His eyes grew dark with desire for her. "Merry Christmas to you, my Bella."

"Merry Christmas, Edward," Bella replied, reveling in the pleasure he gave her, as his fingers slipped into her wet center. She rocked into him, her eyes locked onto his.

For a few more moments, they ignored the craziness that they could hear outside the kitchen door, and gave each other another Christmas kiss.


End file.
